New Ad Script Re: Changes Made Re: Final Copy for client approval

A kangaroo with humans hands and a blue racing stripe down its back hops out from behind a bush and starts removing complicated looking pieces of glassware, tubing, clamps and stands from its pouch. It starts to assemble them together precariously with great care but due to the shortness of its arms and the unwieldiness of its long tail it has great and comical difficulty, constantly knocking things down and breaking them. All the while it mumbles incoherently in Alec Baldwin's voice (Note:  Baldwin asked for too much money, but a voice double has been found that will do it for nothing).

CUT to close-up on the kangaroo's face looking straight into the camera saying in a stage whisper, "I am you."

CUT to black, white text in thick, minimalistic block letters fades in and out in the following sequence:
1. DO NOT BE
2. THE KANGAROO
3. BE PRODUCT NAME (Note: "PRODUCT NAME" is the product's name.)
4. PRODUCT NAME IS
    THE INTANGIBLE ESSENCE
    OF SATISFACTION
5. [Image of an ice cold can of product name with condensation sweating off it sexily, slow zoom in on the can, trumpets sound softly in slow crescendo]
6. [Disembodied images of human sex organs (in the usual combinations but also in LGBT friendly combinations around the periphery) copulating and ejaculating gold coins]
7. [Disembodied smiles morphing into dollar signs]
8. CUT back to kangaroo scene [Image of Product Name cans pelting the kangaroo and its assemblage, cans are originating from behind the camera as if the viewer is the one lobbing them]
9. CUT back to black background
10. PRODUCT NAME (Voice over with thick, non-specific european accent echoes the text from here on out)
11. GOOD
12. PRODUCT NAME GOOD [Image of full line of Product Name cans (24oz, Family Pack, Kid Friendly Pouch, and Product Name Collectible Orbs fades in beneath on top of the kangaroo corpse, crushing it.]

Triple Speed Voice Over Begins: "The phenomenal world is an illusion behind which lies the True Monetary Realm where boundless funds exist to be acquired and spent. Through the actions of acquiring and spending these funds the individual is generated. Therefore, every concept in the individual's mind is to be considered equatable to a gaining or dispensation of money. Desire-Satisfaction is to be defined as certain manipulations of one's personal funds, specifically, in this case, as the expenditure thereof. One's personal funds are thus the fundamental nature of the soul and personal identity, as the only way the individual can exert any influence or know his/her own desire is through constant appraisal of their interactions with the True Monetary Realm. Indeed, without such interactions the individual ceases to exist, though money continues to exist, as a reality without money is inherently inconceivable and a contradiction in terms. As such, Product Name is only responsible for the appearances of phenomenal reality as experienced by the customer in-so-far as the customer agrees to instantiate Product Name's perceived Desire-Satisfaction through the ongoing deposit to Product Name Inc. of approved cash realities.