absurdsense

Due to the dangerously unexpected and unseasonal moonquakes here in Topeka we are recommending violent suicide to all those still in the area, here at Channel 5. But now we cut to Africa, were it appears Mufasa has been severely injured after being ass-raped by baboons a-babbling, hyenas high on hash, and gorillas. A lot of them. What the fuck, Africa. Subsaharan bullshit, bro. There was also a badger and his name was Rodney. He was an asshole, but seriously, don't hold that against him. He had quite a great killing spree, with all the right pulp and puss and semen you would expect from such a cold hearted display. He won the mother-fucking gold medal, fool. Later that day at the laundromat he was showing it off but was overshadowed by the recent introduction of an extreme fabric softner developed by Rockstar energy drinks, complete with 11 grams of caffeine. Most of us younger folks can't wait for ou older folks to die. Painful shit!! Razorblades and acid. Then we'll legalize and mandate universal prostitution. An economy of exchanging bodily fluids and disease. Life expectancy would go down, increasing resources per capita. Robespierre was just misguided. Misguided like Chris Columbus. Misguided like two handles of everclear and a vat of acid. Think about that, a vat of acid. That's a fucking shitload of acid, dude. Blue majestic squid party hard with college football football ions, The electrons occupy empty space in such a way that even MOTHER FUCKING ALLAH MUST BOW DOWN and praise the idols of Hasselhoff he keeps in his closet.